The Silent Patient

My husband and I have much different tastes in book genres. He prefers shoot’em up bangbang books and I prefer mindless smut (don’t judge). This book is neither but seemed one we could both enjoy for the many hours we just spent in the car for a road trip. The style of the writing reminded me a bit of The Girl On the Train. But not as difficult to follow and doesn’t require note taking to keep up.

You really have NO idea how it will end until the very last chapter. So…. if you are someone that reads the last chapter first…. (coughMOTHERcough)…. DONT DO IT!! Really great story line over all.

Highly recommend. The narrator for audiobook version was really good. I’ve been known to abandon audiobooks due to annoying narrators and this guy kept my attention. Click the links below to get your copy if you’re interested.

Happy reading!

For the book click here 👇

https://amzn.to/2F81Yd9 for the book.

For the Audiobook click here 👇

https://amzn.to/2Kk30H9 for the audiobook.

A Bronx Tale

My husband’s job comes with a pretty sweet perk. The company owns loge seats at Playhouse Square that are offered up to the executives. He has scored tickets to dozens of shows over the 5 yrs we’ve been here and he’s never allowed to relocate or find a new job because of this. They are the best seats in the house and we have become supremely spoiled like royalty by them. The seats even come with their own server. Last night our server brought us Brie and crackers and vodka. I mean….come on….

We’ve only purchased tickets to one show since moving here (Rent) and we had to sit in the common people seats and we did not like it one bit. 😂. At one point his company was talking about eliminating this perk and I was sweating bullets. Luckily, those talks were tabled and we’ve squeezed another year out of them. It’s one of the few things that keep us seated here in Cleveland. Without that perk I’d be begging my husband to relocate us next to a palm tree.

There are very few reasons to CHOOSE to live in this gloomy overcast and cold town…..Playhouse Square is one of them.

So, hubby scored tickets to The Bronx Tale for Mother’s Day. We enjoyed it! The storyline was entertaining….the characters very likable….it was humorous. Some of the singing talent fell flat but over all it was good. I give it a 7 (on a 1-10 scale).

Stitch Fix

Not gonna lie….. I was a Stitch Fix doubter. It is not easy to find bottoms that fit my badonkadonk while not leaving a ginormous waist/ass gap in the back. I usually have to try on 40 pairs of pants to find just one that kinda works. I feel I’m kinda picky with my attire and like to shop for bargains so really didn’t think the whole Stitch Fix concept was going to work for me. But I’ll try anything once. And when I complimented a friend on her top and she told me it was from Stitch Fix I decided to give it a chance before poopooing the idea.

I’m officially in love. My first box arrived this week. The jeans fit like a glove? No ass gap? And were reasonably priced? First attempt? What is this Stitch Fix shopper voodoo witchery!?? I LOVE the top and sweater and they are both things I likely wouldn’t have picked off the rack to try on if I went out shopping myself! I tend to get stuck in my tunic with leggings rut.

The only fail was the shoes they sent. They were ugly and very uncomfortable. And the most expensive thing in the shipment coming in at a whopping $120. For an ugly pair of uncomfortable sandals made out of a basket weave like material? I don’t think so.

*insert stink face here*

But it was super easy to return….the return poly bag with paid return shipping label already applied came right in the box with my shipment. I only had to throw it in my mailbox or take to a post office. Sold!!

These shoes in the picture are not the shoes that came from Stitch Fix. These beauties were spotted on a woman at my son’s graduation. I had been staring at them for 20 minutes before tackling her in the aisle finally asking her…..she kindly told me they were Franco Sarta and came from DSW….AND I may or may not have searched, found, and ordered them on line right there and then while waiting for the ceremony to start. And I love them SO much that I may or may not have just ordered them in 2 more colors. 😬. Don’t judge me. 

Stop Making Excuses

Several years ago my daughter came home from school very distressed and abruptly asked “are you and dad getting a divorce”?

In the immediate seconds that followed I quickly scanned my memory bank (which is admittedly leaky) of conversations between my husband and I that took place in the previous 24hrs that could’ve possibly given her this idea.

Coming up blank…..I stink faced her.

Insert confused stink face here…..

HUH?? Come again??!!

She then proceeded to tell me that yet another of her friends have parents that are divorcing. She then listed all her friends with divorced parents and it was well over 1/2 of them. “Everyone is getting a divorce….so if you’re going to get divorced you should tell me now”.

My husband and I have been together for 28 yrs married for 24 of those. The only thing I’ve learned for certain over those yrs through personal experience and observation of friends’ marriages……marriage is a lot of work….it’s f’n hard…..and it is not for the faint of heart. There was a time in my marriage I would not have been able to answer my daughter’s question with any degree of confidence. But we worked through it. Saw a marriage counselor and found our way back to a healthy marriage. It was exhausting and I don’t think either of us were very optimistic it would work but we clawed our way through.

I’ve become a self help junky. I read and listen to any and all things that will help me live my best healthiest and happiest life. And this podcast episode is in the top 10 right now. While the podcast is geared toward the couple this specific episode is also about the self. Stop making excuses. Stop with the negative mindset. “Who you are now is not who you have to be”.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rise-together-podcast/id1407481308?i=1000437591579

Episode Notes:

“In this episode Dave and I take a trip down memory lane and all examine all the excuses we use to live by. What are the excuses you have as a couple that are holding you back? Who you are now, is not who you have to be.”

No Mo Chub-Rub

Today’s thing-that-makes-me-smile is brought to you by Costco. And Amazon. This skort is my absolute favorite summer staple clothing item. It’s soft and stretchy and flattering and sooooo comfortable. As any curvy girl who loves skirts can attest to….chub-rub is real. Probably TMI, but….(head slowly turns to the left….then to the right….insert hushed whisper here) The only way I can wear skirts is to wear spandex shorts under them so my inner thighs don’t rub. (I will never have thigh-gap. It is what it is.) No need to with these beauties….the shorts are built right in! Costco has been carrying it now a few years in a row and I’ve added to my collection each year. I own 10 of them. Costco’s supply is limited to 4 different colors/patterns but Amazon has DOZENS. Check them out!

Click HERE to see Amazon’s collection of Tranquility by Colorado Clothing skorts.

The Answer to America’s Obesity Epidemic

I’ve never suffered from eating disorders. I enjoy food way too much to deprive myself of it and purging was never an option to me as even while suffering with the worst of stomach flus and terrible morning sickness I just have never been successful at making myself purge. Probably a good thing in hindsight as I have no doubt I would’ve been bulimic if I had that ability.

But is “Dieting Disorder” a diagnosis? If not, it should be and I would like to petition this into existence in the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders. Maybe linked under eating disorders with a dotted line connection to the ADD tab.

Weight watchers

Jenny Craig

Hoodia Suckers

Chromium Picolinate

HcG

Metabolife

Ephedra

Advocare meal replacement shakes

Herbalife

Atkins

It’s a little embarrassing to admit this is just the off-the-top-of-my-head short list of diets I’ve attempted over the years. I’m sure there’s a dozen more I’m forgetting. It started in college when I gained more than my share of the freshman-15. It was more like the sophomore-25. This weight gain came after being a very physically fit teenager with an athletically curvy physique. For the following 26 years I sampled every diet plan under the sun….losing 5 lbs, gaining 7…..losing 6 lbs, gaining 10…..losing 7 lbs, gaining 12….and so on…in addition to throwing in a few pregnancies.

Slightly off topic but worth mentioning….I had a major health scare in early 2017. I slowly lost all feeling (completely numb in the end) from my feet to my chest. I could still walk but I was very weak…could barely climb stairs and walked very slow….and very freaked out when I failed the pin-prick test over 2/3 of my body. It was beyond scary. It felt a lot like having that epidural during labor. Could still move my limbs slowly but had no feeling. Several doctors and tests and MRIs later it was discovered I had two 2.5 cm long demyelinated lesions on my spinal cord and 6 small lesions on my brain. My immune system, for reasons unknown, was attacking the myelin sheath protection on my spinal cord and my brain. This myelin sheath protection is necessary for proper speedy nerve conduction. They are currently calling it transverse myelitis and we continue to pray it was an isolated incident. If it happens again I will receive the Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis. I eventually regained feeling and it took about 6 months to feel my strength returning.  My MRIs now show the lesions are healed with faint scars that remain in their place.  No sooner was I healed from that nonsense but then found out beginning of 2018 I had another huge freaky teratoma mass growing on my ovary and had to have my ovary removed and that threw me head first into menopause.

February of 2018 and I was at an all time high of 172 and I was recovering from surgery and in terrible health. My insulin and sugar levels were yo-yo-ing all day as evidenced by my severe hypoglycemic hangry episodes, A1C level of 5.6% (which is just 0.1% away from being pre-diabetic), an average blood sugar level at 123, and well on my way to insulin resistance. My joints and back always hurt and I had 2 yrs worth of painful plantar fasciitis.

*cue the entrance of The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung (an MD nephrologist)

and Delay, Don’t Deny by Gin Stephens

I can’t remember how I was introduced to these books (Knowing me it was likely a panicked google search and I’m pretty sure that google search led me to Dr Fung’s YouTube channel) but they have changed my life forever. Also found this research study which showed an improvement in autoimmune MS symptoms with intermittent fasting and I was ALL in!  The science just makes sense to me. The amount of valid research supporting this way of eating is growing every day. You’ll have to do your own reading and researching because looking up and linking to all the studies I’ve read over the last year would be mind numbingly boring for you…..but you can start with those 2 books linked above.  Do not comment about how “this is unhealthy”,
“you’re killing your metabolism”, “you’re starving yourself”, “women and hormones and blahblahblah” until you have read every page of those 2 books.  If you still come at me with those comments even after reading the supporting studies and evidence….well, then……you’re just too stubborn and closed minded for us to have a rational conversation to begin with…so? You just carry-on with your bad self and continue with whatever you believe best for you.

Side note: even my doctor was totally supportive.  When I last visited him and he noticed the weight loss he asked what I’m doing to lose the weight.  His eyes lit up and a smile spread and he gave a nod of approval saying he’s a IFer too! And then he was all “you should read The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung” and I was all “oh, but I already did!” And he was all “you’re kidding!??” And I was all…..

You get the point…. this lead to a very animated and excited and rushed 30 minute discussion about Dr Fung and this new revolution of information and science in support of this WOE.

I started Intermittent Fasting June of 2018 and lost 25 lbs in the 4 months that followed. I’ve been plateaued on the scale since October but have maintained my weight loss and still seeing body recomposition taking place. This is a huge victory in my book.  I also started working out again last Sept so I’m seeing more muscle definition even in the absence of weight loss. The only time I’ve ever succeeded in keeping my weightloss off is when I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.  And I’m sure we can all agree that is no healthier than being overweight to begin with.

Author, Gin Stephens, calls intermittent fasting “the health plan with the side effect of weight loss” and that’s so true. My skin is clearer, my blood work is improved, my generalized inflammation and joint pain is better, and the plantar fasciitis I had been suffering with for over 2 yrs was completely HEALED within 2 months of this IF lifestyle! This way of eating is free. No diet gimmicks. No products. No pills. No weekly meetings. I feel like I’ve finally found the fool proof answer to shedding my dieting disorder and regaining my health and wellness. And I’m convinced this is the answer to type 2 diabetes and the obesity epidemic in this country.

2019 is my year. My 47th year is the year I finally start living my best life. If you are overweight, have a dieting disorder, are hangry, pre-diabetic, or suffering with type 2 diabetes or unhealthy gut? You should click the links to the books above, read those 2 books, read all the science literature sited in those books and make 2019 your year to start living your best life too.

Because you are worth it.

Unbunching My Panties

My panties are in a severe self-righteous bunch and I’m feeling extremely triggered right now. I’ve been picking at these bunched panties for over 2 hours and am realizing the only way to untangle them is to rant.

Let me preface this by saying….. I am NOT a feminist. Not by any stretch of the imagination. If I’m being honest, it all comes across to me as more anti-man than pro-woman. Life is too short to be so angry.

With that said…..

I’ve been listening to the Latest episode of The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast and if Joe Rogan were sitting in front of me right now I might feel compelled to kick him in the nads (as I did that boy in high school that grabbed my ass – true story)

Joe Rogan just went on a rant about men getting screwed over in divorce saying the only time it’s acceptable for a man to have to pay his ex-wife is if there are children involved in the form of child support. And maybe some alimony for a year or so to help his ex get back on her feet. But if you are a woman married to a successful man…..and you are getting a divorce…..then you are no longer married to him and no longer entitled to his success.

“What I don’t get is alimony…..we’re not together any more. You know how you were before we were together and you didn’t have any money? And then you met me and now I have money and you got used to having money….well you’re going to have to get used to NOT having money. Because now you don’t have any money. Because now we’re not together any more.”

Those were his exact words copied verbatim from his podcast. Just typing it out has my blood boiling. This conversation went on for a while. This is just one quote from a long discussion about the evils of divorced women.

Dear Mr Rogan, you are a douche bag.

Disclaimer: I am very happily married for going on 24 yrs now with no plans for divorce.

HOWEVER!! IF divorce WERE imminent you can BET. YOUR. SWEET. ASS. I’d be hiring the best lawyers. NOT because I’m greedy…..NOT because I’m bitter….. NOT because I’m jealous…..as Mr Rogan said these women are…. but because I’ve EARNED IT!

Damn! Now look what you made me do! I’ve broken out the caps lock and exclamation point abuse.

I am married to a very successful and intelligent man. I am also an intelligent woman. My original plan out of college was to get my masters degree but those plans were put on hold when I found myself holding a positive EPT. It quickly became apparent that my husband’s success was going to require frequent travel. With both of us working full time and him out of town for work I was basically a single parent much of the time with a full time job. That was not the life WE wanted for our kids and growing family so WE collectively agreed to put my career on the back burner. I loved being a stay at home mom and being available to my kids and I have no regrets. And I am very grateful that this husband of mine is so good at what he does to afford US the ability to have a parent at home with our kids.

All that money I was saving for OUR retirement came to an end. My career was put on hold. There would be no raises…..no promotions…..no advancements in opportunity throughout the course of the next 24 yrs because WE decided to let his job gain momentum by having me stay home. My husband has said many times over the course of our marriage that he would’ve never been this successful if not for me and my carrying the weight of this home and family of ours. Ive worked my ass off for this family not only to give our kids the best life possible but also to give him the freedom to excel at his job.

So, yes, Mr Rogan…..I feel VERY entitled to a piece of his salary AND bonuses AND retirement money for the rest of my life.

He says there’s no reason these women can’t go back to work and support themselves. I’m 47 yrs old now. I’ve missed out on 20 yrs worth of retirement savings, promotions, raises, etc. So no. I can’t just pick up where I left off all those years ago and expect to be in the same place I would’ve been had I not decided to stay home.

Hmph.

Now if you’ll excuse me……I have a podcast to UNfollow. Big jerk.

That is all. Carry on.